Mengeluh

Gak ada yg spesial, gak ada yg penting, gue cuma pengen mengeluh dgn bahasa inggris yg lebih sopan daripada bahasa indonesia gue. Just skip it kalo lo cuma mau mengejek bahasa inggris gue yg beneran abal.

Well, today is my anniversary day with gun. Nothing special happened, i even think he forgot that today is our time. Hm.. I dont expect much actually, but unfortunately i really need him right now.

The only thing makes me got a little calm is the fact that i was able to supress my feelings and throw my selfish out. It was hurt me, but i tried to keep and maintain our relationship. At least this is the way that i can do right now. But all that i've done was wrong in his eyes. Why?

I've tried to understand him, but he still blamed me.

I've tried not to interfere with his class schedule, but he still accused me of an affair.

I've tried not to involve my emotion everytime i called him, but he still think badly about me.

I dont do something weird here, but he still suspicious to me.

Is not there anything else that he could say? Like something smells romantic or whatever-the-sweety-talk?

Why i hadn't have a normal relationship like the others?

Why he couldn't think a little bit up and throw all that childish attitude?

Yeah, i love him. Rather i try to find a reason why. But if he always broke the assumption that he's better than before, what can i said to you?

I just dunno everytime got a little problem, why me always got the blame?

Why his thought about me always "just talking without being able to behave"?

Why there is rarely that something sweet moments happened in our love?

I dont sue him, i just want him to see who i am.

I just want him to love me normally, without any absurd suspicion and excessive.

I just want him not only said that i'm selfish girl and just to see my mistakes.

Yeah i know that he have to socialize with his new friends there, but it doesn't mean everytime i called him (that actually his request), he could ignoring me like this right?

Okay i know.. If he badly need to be with them, i just want his permission, said to me, not ignoring me and 'hepi-hepi' with them.

He knew that we've rarely touch right?

He should be using his chance well, not like this..

Is it still love? Still loved? Still missing like he said before?

Is it not just a formality because he is getting tired of this long distance relationship actually?

Hmm or i've got a karma maybe?

I just want to understand him.

I'm his girl, right?